mixed emotions p2

ah, i haven't written here in a long~ time... but a list of mixed feelings are coming up

- school is finally done.. er.. done to the point where i don't have to attend classes.. but there are still those... umm.. oh yeah exams.. >>

- i feel really guilty for what i did over the weekend.. though it's not totally my fault exactly... i got mad at my parents cause they promised me that they were going to do sumthing...and plans didn't go as planned. it was a pretty bad day, especially since both parents were displaying emotions of annoyance and tiredness, it really loses your interest. but of course being the emotional brat that i am, the following evening and day... i made my upset and displeasure quite clear to them. So, now they know that i'm upset and they're trying hard to make it up to me ... but... i don't know why, but it just doesn't feel the same .....

- i'm afraid. i'm afraid of failure. this is sadly one of the few things that prevent me from sleeping at night.. and as june draws closer... that pit at the bottom of my stomach, the one that appears just before i fall asleep, is starting to grow. it's sad to say that i can feel my insides drop to the floor... sometimes.. i feel just so lost....